Many of us stuff our desires down deep into the self, as if sheer determination can keep the lid on longing. But hunger is holy. We are meant to be hungry and to satisfy that hunger every day
Sarah Ban Breathnach
The hunger is there. The skills need honing.
The best thing I can do is be honest. I neither hold a fine arts degree nor have I practiced (whole-heartedly) for many years. But the hunger and longing to make art have never left me. They have always been a part of me in spite of my neglect of them, as I have pushed through life pursuing quests for success in all the wrong places.
I owe my art an apology.
Over the past few years, Life has fed me a heaping spoonful of "it wasn't supposed to be this way" and while it sometimes gets me down, I try to see the lesson in it all. I have learned a lot in my journey and I should find gratitude in spite of my losses. I am thankful to Life for delivering me to a place where making art is my strongest desire.
My art needs me.
Last week, Spring Break 2012 at the Kennel Club required my full focus and commitment both on our guests and my staff of pet caregivers. We've been blessed with beautiful weather and it was a busy but great week!
Unfortunately, with nice weather comes allergies and I found myself battling daily sinus headaches, slight fatigue, and generally feeling scatter-brained and unproductive in my creative world, the result of which was pacing back and forth through the studio like a tiger sizing up it's prey but unable to go in for the attack.
I needed to make art but my mind was in a flat spin.
I was indecisive about subject matter, couldn't decide what medium I wanted to try and I was totally unable to bridge the gap between wanting to conquer and control the outcome and just giving in and dancing with the process.
Using acrylics, charcoal, and masking fluid, I gave up on trying to catch the elusive "perfect subject matter" and used my hunger and frustration to drive an exercise in mark making.
I had fun. I danced.
Whatever it is, it's not finished. It will evolve but that's not important right now. It was about practice and making a connection with paint, charcoal, and myself.
What do you hunger for?
I'd love to hear from you!